Why i do what i do

On the phone with a good friend the other day, he very casually made a comment that some of my Facebook posts are “hitting below the belt” for the men around me. He said that while he ” enjoyed” my feminist posts, some of the things that I post are offensive, especially to my husband. This has been bothering me for some time and now I have had time to think and write down my thoughts. First of all, my husband finds very little of what I say and think offensive; I have asked. While we bicker like any old married couple on the random things, when it comes to my feminist stance, he clearly understands where I am coming from and what I am trying to accomplish by sharing my most intimate experiences. While he is not a feminist (he won’t admit to being one), he understands me and loves me for who I am. I can assure you this man does not feel emasculated or disrespected by my opinions. In-fact, I think he finds my outspoken feminism sexy and worthy of respect. Which is why I married him.
Second, my posts on Facebook and other media are meant to be empowering to me and those that think and feel like I do. I will elaborate. Growing up in this culture, I can go so far as to say I have been sheltered in my youth. I was empowered to be and do what I wanted. I was never censored. I was encouraged to speak my mind openly and to speak out about injustice. I was pushed to learn and grow into an empowered, eloquent and inquisitive young woman. As I transitioned into adulthood and womanhood, I began to realize the person my loving family has created is not welcome in this culture. I love who I am and my culture is part of my identity, my heritage but my culture is also the fine material that holds me in bondage. Who I am and my culture could not co-exist and for the longest time, being a “grown-up” meant doing more and more things that went against who I inherently am in order to be a part of society.

As I felt more and more of who I was being eroded away as I started to transition into adulthood, I realized that it was not just my identity but my confidence and sense of empowerment that was going. I started to find that speaking out and rebelling against the little nuances that crushed my sense of freedom was liberating; I found that those actions, however small, gave me back some sense of my power. On top of that, I found that other women and young girls who are in the same boat reacted to my thoughts and found it as a source of validation to their resentment at our source of bondage – our culture. I thrived in their affinity to me. I reclaimed the power that has been so rudely stolen from me. To me, I am not just reclaiming the power I have been denied since I waltzed into the realm of womanhood quite unknowingly what feels like only yesterday. I am reclaiming this power for my daughter and those women and girls that feel an affinity with me.
Today, I make sure that I have a bite of the chicken breast whenever I can, even though it is designated for the male head of the household. I speak out at every chance I get on any injustice perpetuated on a woman just because she is a woman. I write about every nuance of my experiences in a patriarchal society where a 27 year old woman is considered irrelevant.
My feminism is what has helped me retain a sense of self, a sense of power and a sense of possibilities that I would have easily lost otherwise. It is my life-line and I intend to share it with as many people as possible. And as I told my friend, I am not sorry to offend anyone in the process!